What to Do With Your Hands?

New speakers often ask the question, “What do I do with my hands when speaking?”

The obvious answer is, “Do what ever feels natural.” Now this may be an obvious answer but it is also a terrible answer because nothing feels natural when you are terrified of the situation.

In order to get a handle on this we need to take a look at our perceptions and how they change based on our circumstances. We seem to have a perception that everything is different when we start speaking before an audience. An example of this is demonstrated by the fact that most people don’t have a problem arguing their point of view with a group if they are on the same level as everyone else – that is they are sitting with the group or the entire group is standing. But they become self-conscious as soon as they have to stand and the group sits. It’s not the material or the audience that causes the fear – it’s the formality of where they are in relation to the audience.

The same is true with their hands. You probably don’t think about your hands during the day. Do you think about them while you are walking in public, watching a movie in a theatre, or even conversing with a group of people – usually no. So why is it that people become concerned about them when they have an audience and are “formally speaking”.

The feelings of insecurity and hyper-awareness appear to have more to do with nervousness than with the actual hands. I suspect that in most cases if someone didn’t worry about her/his hands then s/he would worry about how s/he is standing, or whether her/his hair is out of place, etc.

Just for the record, I rarely worry about my hair being out of place since I have so little of it. It’s always in place - I just don't know where that place is anymore.

The first step in dealing with the hyper-awareness of your hands is to realize that there is grace and style in simplicity. It is okay to speak with your hands at your side or perhaps comfortably resting on a lectern.

Please note, I said comfortably resting on the lectern, not applying a death grip on the lectern as if releasing it would allow you to slip into a vast chasm and lead to your untimely death.

If you start focusing your attention on presenting your material instead of focusing on your hands it will be easier to relax and forget them. You may even find as you get into your talk that a hand movement to emphasize a point feels natural. If that’s the case then allow it – if it feels natural then it is going to appear natural to the audience.

Of course a simple hand movement is referred to a gesture. Gestures are often spontaneous but they can also be practiced.

You may be reading this and thinking, “That’s all very well for someone who is an experienced speaker – but I’m terrified. Nothing comes naturally”.

If that’s the case then why not start incorporating a few gestures into your speech when you are practicing. You will find that it is a lot easier to practice them in front of a mirror while imagining that you are talking to just one other person. That really is the key to “spontaneous” gestures – move the same way you would in a one on one conversation.

So now we have gestures that are spontaneous looking but are in fact planned and practiced. Not only will that add an additional dimension to your presentation but it will also help reduce your fear. Rather than worrying about what you are going to do with your hands you will already know what you are going to do with them.

The next fear will be, “Yeah but what if I forget to put the gesture in?” Well then, forget about it. The gestures we are talking about are not part of your content anyway. They may emphasize a point, but your speech will stand on it’s own without them. The key to realize is that if you forget to put the gesture in then you aren’t focusing on your hands anyway – you’re already doing what is natural.

Remember, if you forget about your hands your audience will as well.

For now, focus on relaxing and allow the natural movements. In the next newsletter we will discuss the more sophisticated gestures used to create mental imagery.

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