So often those who struggle with a fear of public speaking also struggle with self-esteem issues. It seems painfully obvious that it would be so until we start asking why.

Why are the two connected?

Well in order to answer that we have to examine self-esteem and determine what it is.

Self Esteem is made up of two attributes – your self worth and your self competence. If either of these attributes is missing, your self esteem will suffer.

A low self esteem leads to a feeling of being unsuitable – not about anything in particular – just unsuitable for life. The individual with low self esteem will always feel undeserving and not of any worth. S/he won’t necessarily have a feeling of being unappreciated because in their mind there isn’t anything to appreciate (I’m talking in the extreme case here).

As a result, the individual may develop coping mechanism – ways of acting the part of someone with confidence. They may be able to work there way through life fooling those around them and fooling themselves as well – at least partially. Yet all the while they will have feelings of worthlessness festering in the deepest recesses of their subconscious.

Of course public speaking is an area in our society where people feel incompetent. They fear it, they know little about it, and because of their lack of knowledge and their fear they start to panic. This panic leads to a feeling of incompetence and a feeling of incompetence starts attacking the self esteem.

Will developing public speaking skills help someone’s self esteem? It may… but what’s more important is for the individual to take a step back and realize some important things about her/himself.

First of all – You are a wonderful human being. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’ve done, what you look like, or a host of other excuses that we use to knock ourselves down. Yes, you are not perfect. Neither am I.

I personally believe in God. You may not – that’s okay. But I not only believe in God but I also believe that God had a hand in creating every single person – and God does not create junk. There are no exceptions.

Regardless of whether you believe in God or not, there are still no exceptions. Those with low self esteem tend to accept this information academically yet rationalize it away as erroneous in their case.

Stop doing that. Realize that you are unique – you can’t be replaced. You have ideas, thoughts, skills, personality, relationships and all sort of other factors that make you an irreplaceable individual. You are worthy of being loved and respected.

So stop right now – allow yourself some love and respect (even from yourself).

Second – no amount of skill or ability determines someone’s worth. I have some skills that others might not have. There are also a number of things that I can’t do (a humorous example, I can’t snap my fingers with my left hand… ). Neither of those facts change my worth. They don’t change yours either.

You do have the ability to learn new skills. If you are interested and you want the benefits of a particular skill, then learn it. You are an intelligent individual who has the ability.

It may take some effort – it may even take more effort than others. Who cares? Stop comparing yourself to others and compare yourself to the one who really counts - yourself. As long as you are growing then you are going in the right direction.

So, are self esteem and fear of public speaking tied together? Absolutely.

Will public speaking skills improve your self esteem? Probably. You will gain a sense of accomplishment from public speaking, but only if it is a skill that you really want benefits are something that you really desire. But public speaking won't help won’t help if you can’t allow yourself to be loved and respected.

In addition, if public speaking isn’t something that you really want then you are going to keep feeling like a failure - regardless of your successes. Make sure that the reason for pursuing this goal is your own and that the motivation is being forced on you by someone else.

If the fear of public speaking is something that you really want to overcome then you are in the right place.

There may be challenges at times, but with the right attitude you can not only overcome your fear but also give your self esteem a boost. Make sure that you have the right attitude and make a commitment to yourself right now to invest in your own personal growth.

Copyright © 2007 David Mudie
All Rights Reserved

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