What if after all Your Planning, There are Still Problems?

Years ago, I was a wedding coordinator for my church. “Wedding coordinator” sounded impressive, however a more descriptive term would have been hired gorilla. I was responsible for looking after the church. In preparation I would move the pulpit and the pews. During the wedding I would manage the sound system. After the wedding I would put everything back in place and clean the church.

This experience gave me the opportunity to witness a lot of weddings. What I soon learned was that every wedding had at least one problem. It may have been the wedding party showing up late. It may have been that the church was too hot. It may have been that the best man passed out while the register was being signed. It doesn’t really matter how big, elaborate and well planned the wedding was, there was always at least one problem (if not more).

That’s very similar to public speaking. I have never given a speech were there wasn’t at least one problem. It was how I dealt with those problems that made the difference to the audience’s experience.

As I have previously mentioned, I have given speeches where the audience wasn’t interested in what I was saying. I have given speeches were the audience didn’t get my humor. I have given speeches were the audience didn’t get my message. I have even given speeches where the audience didn’t show up (or at least only a few people showed up).

That doesn’t even start to describe the facility problems I’ve encountered. For instance I’ve spoken in many noisy environments – including once at an outdoor venue where I had to compete with a river running over a set of rapids. I also competed in a contest that was right next to a fire station. Halfway through my speech I was drowned out while the firefighters left to deal with something as trivial as a heart attack. On another occasion, I showed up to speak at a software conference only to discover that a scheduling mistake had been made – I was in fact scheduled to speak in two different time slots.

The solution to this problem was simple enough – speak twice.

The conference organizers and many of the audience members were shocked that I was willing to do so – but it really wasn’t a big deal for me. Let’s see, I had spent a week or so preparing for the engagement. I had flown several thousand miles to get there. Was I really going to worry about whether I spoke once or twice? In fact, speaking twice did have its advantages – it meant that I had (approximately) twice the audience.

Now what would have happened if instead of responding with flexibility I had allowed myself to get upset at the organizers? After all, I had done a lot to prepare and get there; couldn’t I at least expect them to be somewhat competent?

Of course I could have, but as I have pointed out, problems will always arise. It is how I, as the speaker, deal with those problems that will help the audience relate to me.

If I lose my cool and act emotionally to a situation, it’s going to damage my rapport with the audience. They are going to be too busy thinking about the situation and the uncomfortable emotion to really focus on my content.

If, however, I handle the problems with flexibility, then the audience will most likely be endeared to me. They will experience a positive emotion about how things were handled and subconsciously connect that with my message. They are much more likely to learn the content that I am sharing with them.

In the end, it comes down to the golden rule – do unto others as you would have done unto you. If you were an audience member, how would you want the speaker to deal with a situation? If you can answer that question and act accordingly, you will most likely connect with your audience in a much stronger way then if you didn’t have the problem in the first place.

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